The Fool in the Pool

Three meters under water, feet, hands and arms wrapped in chains and secured by four locks…find your calm, Dan Gilbert said to himself as he sat on the bottom of the pool, weighed down by the heavy steel shackles.

Dan’s heartbeat and other bio-rhythms were racing upon entering the water. Dan immediately took control. He quickly commanded his body to slow down to a trance state…his body responded. If his body reacted naturally and gasped for air or put his heart and respiratory system into full tilt Dan would drown. It was 6 a.m. and he was alone in the pool.

Dan flexed his hand so his fingers could reach the lock around his wrist. He was fumbling over the dial on the lock. The combination he memorized was not working. Suddenly it occurred to him that he may have used the wrong lock. That can’t be, he thought. I used the right lock…I’m just not hitting the exact setting on the mechanism, he said to himself with resolve. Stay focused, he commanded his brain. Dan was already thirty seconds behind his target time at this point in the process. He continued to have difficulty with the lock…he was one entire minute behind schedule. Dan monitored and stayed on top of every precious second in his head. No problem, he said, I trained for this mishap. Dan stayed resolute…he knew the lock would open. At the one minute and twenty seconds mark the lock opened. With his hands free he worked on the two locks that held the chains tight around his arms and chest. He opened these locks in his regular time. He quickly unshackled his feet, stood up and kicked off the floor of the pool, rising above the surface of the water for a priceless breath of air. It took three and a half minutes…normally he was done in two minutes.

Dan was in training to become a professional escape artist. He had been training for the last three months, both mentally and physically. He was being trained at the University by a group of scientists and psychologist focused on brain studies and peak human performance. Dan approached them and convinced them that he would be a good lab rat for them to run through experiments while he conditioned his brain and body to perform and execute some difficult and extreme feats.

This was his fourth time doing the underwater escape …but, to do this without his coach and crew was crazy. With each attempt the crew were ready to pull him out of the water if he failed…they were trained to resuscitate him. In a failed attempt he would lose control over his body, he would gasp for air, his lungs would be exasperated and automatically filled with water…he would be immediately asphyxiated and lifeless…it wasn’t a simple matter of hoisting him out of the water at that point where he would take a deep breath of air and bounce back to life. Once the rescue team had him out of the water Dan would be unresponsive. The medical team had specialized equipment to empty the water from his lungs and restart his respiratory system. The team would have to move with precision and had only several seconds to complete the medical procedure before brain damage would occur.

Without any of his team’s knowledge he was pulling this daring feat off by himself. He believed that having a safety net took the edge off the escape…it didn’t feel dangerous and suspenseful enough.  In doing it alone, he felt that the effort would feel genuine and the accomplishment more rewarding - a true rush…and it did.

He was in the pool gathering up the locks and chains.

‘What the Hell are you doing,’ a thunderous voice yelled out, echoing throughout the University pool.

It was Bridget Tompkins, one of his trainers.

‘Taking it to the limit,’ Dan shouted back.

‘Playing with fire,’ she replied, ‘you could have died.’

‘It’s my life,’ Dan sang out in song.

‘Well, keep this up and you won’t have a life.’

Dan broke into song again, ‘does that make me crazy...does that make me crazy.’

‘Yes that makes you God damn crazy…that’s what you are,’ replied Bridget, tossing her arms in the air. ‘And stop throwing out song titles at me. You’re sounding like a cheesy radio DJ and a total loser,’

‘What…you don’t like the Eagles…you gotta like Bon Jovi… It's my Life…It's now or never…I ain't gonna live forever…I just want to live while I'm alive.’

‘Now you’re being a total loser,’ replied Bridget.

‘How can you not like Gnarls Barkley…Crazy… my heroes had the heart…to live their lives out on a limb…and all I remember…is thinking, I want to be like them…ever since I was little…ever since I was little…it looked like fun…and it's no coincidence I've come..and I can die when I'm done,’ sang out Dan at the top of his lungs, ‘now that’s what I call good tunes…and relevant…come on, give me that.’

‘Relevant to a teenager or an imbecile… I’ll give you that,’ said Bridget, ‘and I’ll give you the boot out of this training program if you ever do that again…and whoever helped you put on those chains is in big trouble.’

‘I did it myself,’ replied Dan, ‘no accomplice.’

‘Whatever…I need to go over some of your physical test results with you,’ said Bridget as she pulled a file folder from her bag.

‘Alright…but I’m starving…let’s go to the cafeteria,’ suggested Dan.

  ************************************************************

Marshmallows in the Cafeteria

Bridget was drinking her morning tea and Dan was putting back his three eggs, bacon, sausage and coffee as they discussed the results of his physical conditioning test. Afterwards, Dan just stared intensely into Bridget’s eyes and said nothing.

‘What the Hell are you doing,’ blurted out Bridget, ‘you’re making me uncomfortable.’

‘You have beautiful green eyes,’ said Dan.

‘What do you know…my eyes are hazel…stop being silly,’ replied Bridget.

‘Alright, I’ll be serious,’ said Dan, ‘Bridget, as you know I’m really serious about transitioning from a swimming career to becoming an escape artist. I know people find it hard to understand, but I’d like you to know my reasons why.’

‘You don’t have to justify your direction in life to me,’ Bridget exclaimed.

‘I know that,’ replied Dan, ‘but if you let me explain…it will help me understand myself on this…and if I can clarify the facts for you…well, more importantly maybe I can use this  rationale for becoming an escape artist on other people like my mom and dad who are dying to know why I’m taking this path. Normally, I never cared what other people thought about my life, but lately I’ve changed…I always understood why family and friends cared, but now I feel like they have the right to know about this next chapter in my life.’

‘That makes sense,’ said Bridget, ‘I’ll be your sounding board…go ahead explain yourself young man.’ She said in a stern voice trying to keep a serious face, but ended up laughing.

‘Alright, hear me out,’ pleaded Dan, ‘it may sound like I’m talking out of context, but be patient…I need to lay a few things about myself on the table, this will help explain where I’m coming from and where I need to go.’

Bridget and the training team had Dan’s bio. She knew that Dan was 32 years-old. He had a bachelor’s degree in Sports Psychology…a four year degree that took him six years to complete. Dan was a top notch athlete. He lived in Olympic pools all through his childhood. Dan was six-foot two-inches with a streamlined muscular build of a typical world class swimmer…broad shoulder, thin waist, almost no body fat and big hands and feet. His eyes were pale denim blue…almost as if the chlorine faded them over the years. His auburn hair was cropped short like a Navy captain. He was handsome…and he knew it… advertising sponsors tapped his good looks and the down-home boy next door persona when he entered the world stage and won a gold medal for the 50m freestyle swim at the Sidney Olympics in 2000…his face was all over cereal boxes and shaving razor ads.

‘I was a restless kid…who would have guessed it,’ Dan said sarcastically, ‘I couldn’t stay still for 15 minutes without having to get up and bounce around the room.’

‘Both my parents were Professors. My mom was a Music Professor at the University. She also loved psychology. That’s how she found out that the Psychology Department at the University was looking for five year-old kids to participate in a psychology test…well, my mom signed me up for the test…or should I say experiment. As part of the experiment they offered us marshmallows.’

‘That’s why they call you the Marshmallow Kid,’ exclaimed Bridget, ‘I get it now… that’s a famous experiment called the Marshmallow Test. It originated out of Stanford University back in the 1970’s...psychologists still run the test on kids till this day.’

‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied Dan. ‘So you know how it works…each kid must make a choice…I was in a room with the psychologist, he said I could have one marshmallow at that moment or if I waited I could have two marshmallows in fifteen minutes.  He left the room and I sat there with one big fat marshmallow on the table staring me in the face. This tested whether the kid went for instant gratification or could hang in for fifteen minutes for a bigger reward – the two marshmallows.’

‘Let me guess,’ interrupted Bridget, ‘you picked the one marshmallow being offered up right away…you went for the instant gratification. But the real winners were the kid that waited fifteen minutes and were rewarded with two marshmallows…is this right?’

‘Partly,’ replied Dan. ‘I didn’t go for the one marshmallow and fifteen minutes later when he came back in the room I refused the two marshmallows he was offering. At the beginning of the test I told them I loved marshmallows…so they were perplexed.’

‘They must have asked why you refused the marshmallows,’ Bridget asked anxiously.

‘Yes they seemed very anxious to get to the bottom of this anomaly and asked me right away,’ replied Dan, ‘I told them I didn’t like the rules of their game and didn’t want to play. They asked me why. I told them all the kids should be treated the same…I didn’t like the way it split up us kids…putting us in two different camps.’

‘What did they do with you?’

‘They told my mom I wasn’t suitable for the test,’ replied Dan, ‘they told her what I did and what they expected me to do. They even told her I may need psychotherapy.’

Dan laughed, ‘she told them I was fine and that their experiment was flawed if they couldn’t report on the few kids that were either stubborn, strong willed or brilliant enough to push back on the norms and rules of the test…she told them it was dangerous to hold such a two-sided black and white perspective on the outcome of experiments…in fact, the exceptions tend to offer greater insights she told them.’

‘I think your mom is brilliant,’ said Bridget.

‘When I was in first year University I reviewed the findings of the study,’ said Dan, ‘I didn’t find anything in the reports about kids that fell into the fringe or acted in unexpected ways…my response to their test went unrecorded - certainly unreported. From the beginning of these tests they assumed that kids who could put off gratification would perform better throughout the rest of their lives…and according to the researchers the follow up tests with these groups in their early twenties proved this. I wonder how many kids refused to participate…and if they had tracked it, how these kids would have turned out as adults.’

‘Putting all this experimenting aside, as I grew up I realized I did tend to chase instant gratification even though I could see the tangible reward in the long-term outcomes…I was a Marshmallow Kid taking the first offering. At the root of this was my biggest personality flaw…maybe illness at the time…and it was my tendency to procrastinate.’

‘In my teens as soon as I had an important goal to achieve I’d psych myself out,’ said Dan, ‘especially if it had a deadline that was longer than a month. I’d get overwhelmed with the million possible ways I could succeed or fail…and just over think the whole thing.’

‘In first Year University I had to write a term paper on high performers in sports. I had three months to work on the assignment.  I’d come up with a million excuses to put off doing the simplest of tasks to get the assignment started…I’d resort to a comfortable default task like playing Halo: Combat Evolved.’

‘I can’t do it, I just can't do it…and when I tried to work on it I’d get sidetracked by dead-end tangents…anxiety starts to build up…and the work goes unfinished. After this failed term assignment I got clever…I always came up with brilliant work-around plans. I convinced my professors to let me do several short papers…say once a week…I choose courses with weekly tests and quizzes rather than courses with one term test or a single long winded essay. And hey, I got by and graduated.’

‘So how does this pan out in my daily life,’ said Dan, ‘I fly by the seat of my pants and live gregariously…for example, I live pay check to pay check, I don’t plan ahead for retirement, I’m not focused on a pension, saving bonds or stock market investments, yet I know all these actions would benefit me later in life.’ 

‘My philosophy on this,’ replied Bridget, ‘is to have as much fun and excitement in my youth or the here and now without jeopardizing or destroying my future chances for a good life.’

‘And that’s a great way to live,’ said Dan, his eyes betraying a sadness like a repented sinner, ‘but, for me the worse thing is I’m aware of the many future rewards I’ve let slip through my hands…it’s not like I’m oblivious to long term rewards like many of my friends who can't see past tomorrow and are members of the live wild and die young club…numb to the future...I know very clearly that I’m screwing up my future…especially my love life. All my relationships serve my immediate lust for life…as a new lust comes along and the relationship doesn’t fit the bill anymore I’m off to a new flavour of the year…leaving a string of doomed relationships in my wake…I know that’s crazy.’

‘Leonard Cohen has an album called, “New Skin for the Old Ceremony,”’ Bridget interjected, ‘I think every time you felt like you needed a new relationship it had nothing to do with the woman you were with…you were bored with your own life and needed to reboot yourself…thinking that a new relationship could recharge you.’

‘I don’t deny that,’ replied Dan, ‘there is something fundamentally wrong about my way of seeking fulfillment or looking for a lasting relationship.’

‘My dad was a popular man around campus when he was young, many women chased after him,’ said Dan, ‘I asked him why he chose Mom. He told me that Mom was both beautiful and wise…they shared a passion for poetry, art, music, world cultures, political activism and most importantly family and a noble path in life. However, their lifestyles at that time clashed...Dad had a party side and loved hanging out with friends at fraternity parties, pool halls, pubs and so on while my Mom would rather stay home studying, seeing a poet at a small cafe or sharing a bottle of wine with Dad and listening to good music on the terrace. This was in contrast to the many women who hung out with the boys kicking it up and partying on.’

‘Dad said Mom was the woman who embodied all the qualities and purpose in life that he aspired to achieve…although he was wild and foolish at the time and wasn’t at that point of maturity in his own development as Mom, he loved her and decided the future with Mom and all it promised was a once in a life time opportunity and more important than numerous sexual conquests, fraternity parties, pool halls, pubs, wild March breaks and so on.’ 

‘You see,’ sighed Dan, ‘I would have gone with the woman who partied with the boys. This meant I ignored countless other women in my life who were not out on the war path. And it was more likely that I would find my long term desires for a relationship fulfilled by a woman in this more grounded group of women. And I know it's a double-edge sword...these grounded women would also avoid me like the plague.'

'I shared Dad’s eye to the future, but I didn’t have Dad’s commitment to the future or discipline. And as if I needed all these personality tests that your team ran on me…I could have told them the test results would show I thrive off big groups of people, I love to ham it up, I need to touch, feel, hear, taste and see anything that catches my attention…I dive right in and soak life up…I have the patience for academics but I need to quickly take the lessons out of the classroom and apply them to real life situations…again soaking up the experiences…on the downside I’m easily bored and hate long term projects…I have a bottomless pit of energy that can get me in trouble when I’m not using it for productive pursuits…I go for action over theory…I’m focused on getting the job done, but will take excessive risks to complete a task…I improvise more than plan…and so on.’

‘Yep,’ replied Bridget, ‘The Myer-Briggs test put you as ESTP personally type…exactly as you described it…and you’re a 100% full on ESTP.’

‘On another note,’ said Bridget, ‘where it comes to procrastination I think everyone to a lesser or more degree is guilty of putting things off.’

‘I believe God is the worst procrastinator of all,’ Bridget said light-heartedly, ‘come on already…you said there’d be a second coming…it’s been over two thousand years…get Jesus back down here already...stop putting it off.’

‘Well, now I don’t feel so bad about procrastinating,’ said Dan ironically, ‘but, the past three months taught me that I can train the brain to behave differently…to focus and concentrate in new ways and find calm where once there was chaos…to see the big picture...the forest where once only the trees mattered. Learning that discipline was as a big a goal for me in my training to become an escape artist, but just as importantly I knew I could apply this training to let me see and approach my personal life in a new way - funny leaning to escape had taught me how to stay anchored.’

'You may have been a naturally gifted swimmer,' said Bridget, 'but you didn't take it for granted...you still needed to train every day in order to become an Olympic champion. I believe that most of us are naturally inclined to love, but we take our ability to love for granted...and really we should train ourselves every day in the art and skill of love in order to become champions in relationships.'

‘Bang on...and I see that now.'

 'Enough couch therapy,’ exclaimed Dan.

‘Look, I really pissed you off this morning…let me make it up to you,’ pleaded Dan, ‘come to a party with me tonight.’

‘You’re crazy, you know what day it is,’ replied Bridget, ‘I hate Valentine’s day and VD parties even more,’

‘Hey, we’re both single, wrapped up in our careers, not into relationships…it doesn’t mean we can’t go out and have some fun tonight,’ said Dan, ‘besides, this is the antithesis of a normal Valentine’s Day party – imagine if Cirque du Soleil were hosting it with some of the world’s masters of black magic as special guests, on top of that it’s the full moon…this party will be on the dark side of the moon…the hosts are going to take it off the charts.’

‘Does everything you do have to be off the charts,’ Bridget remarked.

‘Hey, I’m trying to go against the grain of my personality tests,’ exclaimed Dan, ‘but right now my senses are telling me to live for today…change tomorrow.’

‘Until you change I’m going to call you the Marshmallow Kid,’ threatened Bridget.

‘Fine with me,' replied Dan, 'but I will outlive that name...you'll see.'

'What time are you picking me up,’ asked Bridget.

'I'll pick you up at 8:30.'

   ***********************************************************

Bridget Ponders

‘What I’m I doing,’ said Bridget to the mirror. She was getting ready to go out with Dan. She was having second thoughts about it. She thought he was a great guy and attractive too, but he was complex and hyper…the kind of boy Moms say, stay away from. She also didn't want to complicate their work relationship.

Bridget was 28 years-old. She completed her PhD in biochemistry two years ago and already had a tenured position at the University. She still looked like a teenager and certainly didn’t look like a Professor. The first thing that stood out about her was her intense green eyes. She kept her hair long and straight and was always changing its colour from blonde to red to brown with off colour highlights and so on – not out of insecurity, but because she simply had an incredible Joie de vivre and unabashed style that she natural gravitated to. She was five foot five inches tall and had a skier’s build…a low centre of gravity with strong powerful legs. Dan and the other guys on the team secretly said she was white with a Latino woman’s sexy booty. Dan thought she was incredibly light-hearted and found it hard to believe that someone with her creative flair for living could have succeeded at such a hard scientific program. She was also an excellent athlete. In her late teens she won the National water skiing championship. Her love for sports is why she focused her biochemistry thesis on high performance athletes. She hoped that what she learned about the brain and body interactions in athletes could help sick kids and adults.

‘Oh well, no harm,’ she said, ‘we’ve become good friends and we’ve never showed any of interest in the other…just go out and have fun, girl.’

 ************************************************************

Off to Pandaria

Dan was knocking on Bridget’s apartment door…it was 8:30 p.m. on the dot. Within seconds she opened the door. She wore a tight black dress.

‘Hey, you look stunning,’ said Dan.

They took a taxi downtown to the club district and entered a club called "Pandaria." It was a huge warehouse. There were hosts tending to the female guests and hostesses greeting the male guest as they came into a large foyer. Everyone was given masks and gowns to wear. Guests were instructed that wearing these were mandatory – otherwise staff would ask guest to leave.

Dan and Bridget were given their gowns – a red one for women and a black one for men…the gowns were long, had hoods and completely conceal the clothing that guests came in. And the masks totally concealed its owner's identity. People that arrived as couples were given a necklace with a silver pendant that was broken in half – they were told that the matching halves would fit with the person they came with like two matching puzzle pieces.

‘But...we're not a couple,’ said Dan as the hostess and host put the medallions around him and Bridget.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ said the hostess, ‘you came together and that’s how the game works…besides you could win an amazing prize.’

‘I’m bad at following the rules of games,’ replied Dan.

‘After you're taken to your destinations within the club...from that point you can live or die by rules,’ said the host, ‘so go forward and enjoy the night.’

Music was pumping through the club. Dan's passion for good songs and lyrics made him secretly smile. 

'If you lose your way tonight that's how you know the magic's right,' played loudly.

Dan knew the song. 

'Hey Bridget, they're playing Daft Punk,' said Dan, '"Doin' it Right."

'Why don't you request them to play "Get Lucky,"' replied Bridget and winked, adding, 'after all we're going to be up all night.'

Dan smiled back at her. That's something…we're both music lovers after all he thought...and what a great sense of humour.

The host politely took Bridget by the arm and lead her away. Dan started to follow the two of them.

‘Hold on,’ said the hostess tending to him. She placed her hand on Dan's forearm. ‘Come this way...I will escort you to your special destination.’

She took Dan in the opposite direction of Bridget.

‘What’s this all about,’ asked Dan.

‘In the spirit of the dark full moon and Saint Valentine you are being taken on a quest,’ replied the hostess, ‘there are eight venues or realms throughout Pandaria. Each realm holds strange, illuminating, dark and wondrous mysteries that will set you on a journey into the night...like my fav...the "Voodoo Your Ex Room". You have to visit at least four rooms tonight to complete the quest. Around midnight everyone will convene in the main Ball Room...over the sound system a countdown will lead up to 12 a.m. exactly. While leading up to this in the Ball Room you must find your companion...you are not given much time to find each other so fate will play a hand in people's fortunes...once you find each other you must put the two pieces of the pendant together at the exact time as directed by the Master of Ceremonies. They are designed to stay attached, but only if you are meant to be with that person. If the two pieces won’t stay together then fate has doomed your love and relationship.’

‘But, there is one special occurrence that will happen at midnight,’ she smiled and said, ‘one of the couples’ pendants that bond will also light up with a beautiful bright red light from within.’

‘What if a couple tests their pendants out before hand,’ asked Dan.

‘Those anxious people will deactivate the pendant,’ replied the hostess, ‘instant gratification is no way to seek after love...and who knows…fate may even decide their relationship is doomed.’

   ***********************************************************

The Onion Cellar

Dan was taken through the main ballroom…a ballroom that could easily hold a thousand people…then through several rooms holding a hundred or less people…the hostess held his arm the entire time. She was very beautiful and unlike the guest wearing cloaks she was almost naked…in a genie costume with a veil across her mouth. She took him down a staircase into the basement into a crowded room with about fifty people sandwiched into it.

‘This is the Onion Cellar where you start your journey,’ the hostess said, ‘one last thing…when a bell rings it’s time to move on to a new room of your choice...remember you must visit at least four rooms.’

‘Live or die by the rules,’ she said and winked. She released his arm and quickly disappeared into the crowd.

Onion Cellar, Dan thought, that’s a strange name for a parlour in a club. His nose started to twitch…after a few sniffs of air he could smell onions. Everyone was huddled around a long table…it was about thirty feet long. Sitting on top in the middle of the table were a man and woman dressed only in a skimpy chef’s apron. They were cutting onions in half and tossing the halves to the people around the table asking them to peel them. People were crying as they tore layers off the onions and placed them around the table.

‘Gather round the table all you lovelorn, you broken hearted, you jilted, you two-timed, you romantically dispossessed, you ex-inamoratas and find expiation in your collective misery,’ chanted the woman.

‘As we peel the onions,’ announced the man, ‘let your watering eyes spill upon the table and join as a single collective massive pool...a magnificent magic tear…think of love, clearing obstacles, power, seduction, and mending or distancing relationships.’

Dan began to peel the onions. His eyes were watering profusely.

‘The onion teaches us about emotional release which comes with tears,’ the woman sang out, ‘trying to hold back tears only makes the pain worse, and holding back tears during sorrow and hurt can make emotional pain worse.’

‘We have been brought up in world that values stoicism and looks down on the need to cry,’ the man declared, ‘But like the tears that help flush out the onion’s toxins from your eyes, tears of sadness or anguish help flush emotional toxins from our hearts, minds and souls.’

‘The Onion Cellar will teach you that there is no shame or guilt in crying,’ stated the woman, ‘tears are a magical fluid in mythology and fairy tales, bestowing or restoring life. Learn to embrace crying in a positive, even sacred, way.’

The woman appeared to look at Dan directly in the eyes. Tears were streaming down his cheeks.

‘Learn that the soft side of your nature is greatly untapped…especially in people who project an invulnerability and brashness in life,’ she said softly, just loud enough for Dan and few others to hear. Then she added, ‘it is your soft side that slows down your heart and emotional reflexes...tears can tame the charging and raging currents in your soul...taking time to cry and feel intense emotions make you seriously ponder your next moves in life...if you have no time for tears you will blindly jump into a bigger messiness in life.’

Whoa, she's looking right at me...was that message directed at me, thought Dan, this is too bizarre.

‘Hey Onion Lady,’ yelled out Dan,

At that moment a loud bell rang over the sound system. All the people gathered around the table dried their eyes and started leaving the room. Dan was being pushed along with the current of the crowd. His question left hanging and lingering unanswered in the aroma of the onion infused air.

   **********************************************************

Chamber of Venus

Dan went against the flow of the crowd…sensing that the masses would lead him to the wrong room. He pushed through the oncoming tide of people and went to the opposite end of the Onion Cellar, down a long hallway to single door leading to a large chamber. Dan checked out the outward bound women. He was hoping that he’d recognize Bridget, but the red gowns and masks made it impossible. He went into the new room as he desperately searched for Bridget among the stragglers that were still leaving. He was beginning to think this quest was a stupid idea…after all he wanted to spend the night with Bridget...and not be alone. He turned his attention to the room. In the middle of the room was a man bent over and contorted in a torture device.

Beside him was a shapely woman dressed in a tight black leather suit, she raised her voice as the crowd gathered, ‘Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Chamber of Venus...Saint Valentine was tortured and beaten to death by the Emperor Claudius the Second. Valentine was a martyr for love…as are we all.’

A powerfully built man well over six feet five inches dressed in a tight leather body suit entered the room. He was clearly the Master of this event.

‘Buddha taught that the source of all suffering is desire,’ said the Master of Events, ‘but what is love without suffering? And where is love without desire?’

‘Tonight, we have the reincarnation of Saint Valentine with us. He is locked in a torture device called the Scavenger’s Daughter,’ he said as he pointed to a contortionist…a man tangled up on the floor in a strange and foreboding looking medieval contraption.

‘Saint Valentine made the supreme sacrifice for love.’

The Scavenger’s Daughter was an A-frame shaped metal rack…the man was dressed in rags and his head was strapped to the top point of the A, the hands at the mid-point and the legs at the lower spread ends; swinging the head down and forcing the knees up in a sitting position – compressing his body.

‘Around the room are other torture devices like the rack, along with whips and other fine instruments of chastisement,’ said the mistress of torture, ‘feel free to exact your punishment or retribution for love or to unleash your primal need for anguish… surrender both mind and flesh to experience the most perfect pain, the most exquisite sensation, the ultimate consummation.’

With that said the people starting playing with the other devices. A woman asked Dan to tie her up on the rack. He gentle tied the ropes under the Mistress’s supervision and turned the crank a few notches. Afterwards, he freed the woman and she thanked him profusely.

‘Oh, being on that rack was such a great release of anger,’ she said.

Then Dan helped a few people put on shackles and chains. One of the shackled women said you know your way around chains…you’ve done this before. Dan secretly laughed.

Dan was surprised by his own behaviour. He was taking the role of the voyeur instead of participating. It was all in good play and no one was getting hurt as they went through the motions of pretending to torture one another. The room was charged with an atmosphere of nervous energy and emotional release.

One of the guests came up to Dan.

‘This is wild,’ he said, ‘we have all sinned in the name of love…each of us is imperfect and unworthy in mind and body…we all have flaws and make mistakes that hurt us and others...this exercise in torture is teaching me a lesson in repenting.’

‘You’re right,’ replied Dan, ‘I guess our procrastinations, despair, doubts and fears are a day to day means of torture…and we shouldn’t deny the lessons in that…very cool.’

The bell rang out again.

   *******************************************************

The Hall of Truth or Dare

Dan ended up in a hall. It was like the dining hall of a Viking castle from the dark ages. Throughout were countless spinning wheels with TRUTH or DARE sections on them with a black heart at the centre of the hub. A host or hostess controlled each wheel.

Dan approached one of the spinning wheel. There was guest telling an intimate story about his partner in response to having landed on a TRUTH section of the spinning wheel. He was revealing his most foolish moment with a lover.

‘Over our first year together,’ he said, ‘she would always say, “Thank You,” after we made love…it felt good to hear those words…I never replied as I wanted to appear humble about it…then on our first year anniversary we had an incredible night of love making and she said, “Thank You,” and for the first time I felt compelled to respond…I replied, “you’re welcome.” She said, “Silly…I was thanking the Universe.” I told her to thank the Universe for me too…and she said she did that each time we made love…I felt foolish, but in truth I realized how much more appreciative I should be for every grace that touches my life...thank you God.’

‘Come on up…and spin the wheel,’ said the man controlling the wheel as he motioned to Dan to come closer. He was in his seventies. He was dressed like a space age monk in a shiney silver cloak and gown.

Dan spun the wheel. It landed on the “TRUTH” wedge.

The host reached for a stack of cards embossed with bold letters that had 'QUESTION' written on it. He asked Dan to pull a card out and pass it to him. Dan pulled a card half way out. He paused then put the card back in the deck and drew another card and passed it to the old man. The host read the card to himself. His eyes widened and he looked amused.

‘Well, let me explain how this works,’ remarked the old man. ‘This is not your typical question...it's very rare...you should be honoured...I understand it will only come up twice throughout the night…in this case I will ask you a question, but I’m not looking for your version of the truth…no…no…no…I’m looking to see if you can tell me the “Universal Truth.”’

‘First I will give you a scenario followed by a question: Picture your heart as a box… …the Powers that Be say that this is a box which you alone own as a birth right…inside the box are attributes like praise, love, friendship, loyalty, thankfulness, passion and other such things. You fall in love with the person you feel is the “one”…The question is what do you give to this person with regards to the box in your possession.’

‘What do I give this person I fell in love with – the one,’ Dan repeated the question.

‘I dig deep into my box and I give them love, respect, loyalty, friendship, passion and praise,’ replied Dan with sincerity, ‘that ought to do it.’

‘Your response is admirable...but it is predictable,’ said the old man, ‘the thing is, it lacks daring and imagination…some would say you’re not thinking out of the box…and it seems to me that you are man who has a rich imagination and thrives off bold and risky endeavours. Your answer is lame in light of your courageous demeanour.’

‘What would be a better answer,’ asked Dan showing he was aggravated.

‘I can see from your pendant you came here with someone else,’ replied the old man, ‘I’m sure she can provide the Universal Truth to the question…ask her.’

The bell rang out just as Dan was going to ask more questions. The host shuffled off elsewhere and Dan had to rush to the next room.

  ************************************************************

The Tunnel of Love Letters

Dan found himself in another location in the building. This time he followed a small group to an entrance leading into a huge tunnel.  The sign over the tunnel read ‘The Tunnel of Love Letters.’

The host and hostess handed out slips of paper and pens to the crowd. Men were given black ink and women were given red ink pens. They were instructed to write a love letter to a current or an unknown future lover.

‘Remember, not to sign or put your name on the letter,’ said the host, ‘also please refrain from putting in references that would clearly identify you to people you know.’

Dan went to one of the tall bar tables. A hostess gave him a beer. He began to think about what to write. He struggled with a few attempts. He crumpled up two slips of paper. Then he began to write for about fifteen minutes uninterrupted. The entire group was given twenty minutes to write the note…the time elapsed and the host and hostess gathered all the letters.

‘You may know enter the Tunnel of Love Letters,’ she said, ‘look at the letters posted on the walls…they are from tonight…you must take one letter off the wall and keep it with you for the remainder of the night. If you don't see one that catches your imagination you can come back one more time to find one.’

Dan entered the tunnel. Hundreds of letters were posted on the walls. Some letters had the most beautiful hand writing while others were bold and messy. Many letters had drawing and doodling on them. Dan couldn't even remember the last time anyone wrote something to him...hand writing was a thing of the past. Yet he was mesmerized by the hand written collection of letters...it was a thing of beauty.

After reading about ten letters, time was running out and he was almost ready to randomly take a letter from the wall and exit the tunnel. For some unknown reason a letter toward the exit captured him – it must have been the handwriting he thought…it was very precise and tidy, but it had pizzazz. He began reading it and couldn’t stop – he was spellbound. It read:

Someone’s love best enters your world and is welcomed, cherished and warmly embraced when you understand and appreciate yourself.  Whether you are fully healthy or in need of repair, I found that if you see the Devine in yourself you can be a temple onto yourself and truly love the world and more deeply be a lover…

Nurturing comes from without…growth comes from within. By whatever religion or philosophy that guides my life, my body is my temple and my conduit to receive and send Devine thoughts and messages. My temple was built throughout my youth and completed in my mid-twenties, but it is not static, nor is any wall or room unchangeable. It is a dynamic structure and ready to adapt and change as the times demand.

My temple is consciously designed to be pleasant, simple and humble. It has plenty of windows to not only see outside, but to permit the outside world to see in. My temple has four sets of double doors that open wide to welcome people inside and to easily let people come and go. My temple, as any house, needs constant work and attention to maintain and keep it safe and sound. It was also consciously designed to annex or extend should renovations within my life require it. Clearly, my temple is not a shrine or a monument…it would never be so pretentious. With that in mind I hope this is my temple for the rest of my life, but I realize and would openly embrace change and build another temple if a new revelation or inspiration were to take me elsewhere and reshape my life.

Where romantic love is concerned, I am looking for a man who will share with me the splendour and toil of building a love...knowing it takes time to reach perfection if at all. I send this message out to the Universe…I pray that Devine fate will bring myself and a special person together through a journey of discovery that leads to the best and deepest love possible.

He took it off the wall and tucked it away just before the bell rang.

   ************************************************************

The Ballroom

Dan completed his quest having visited four rooms. He was in the Ballroom...back at the main room in the club. It was 20 minutes to midnight. It looked like every one of the different groups were now gathered in the one room.

A short stocky, sleepy-looking man with brown uncombed hair took the centre of the stage in front of the audience gathered out on the dance floor. A spot light fell on him. He wore rumpled casual street clothes more associated with a granola yuppie than a host of such a grand event. Even though he did not have the statue of a Master of Ceremony as he gripped the microphone stand he had a glowing and strong presence and appeared more than capable of hosting the event despite people's first impressions.

‘Hello and welcome ladies and gentlemen,’ he said, ‘welcome back from your quest...your journey around the club…think of this main ballroom as the womb of the club…a return to your very first love…all of our first loves…our mothers…you are safe and loved here.’

‘With the full moon shining down brightly through the cathedral window we are shimmering silhouettes in an incubator of love...about to be hatched.’

‘Would you all take off your masks and gowns…the hostesses and hosts will gather them from you…now, look around the room and find the person you came with…I’ll give you ten minutes to do this.’

Dan took off his mask and gown and started looking for Bridget. With only about a minute left he saw Bridget. She too had been wandering around the room. He couldn’t explain it, but he was more than overjoyed to see her. He ran over to her, picked her up off the ground and whirled her around. She laughed and hugged him.

‘Wild night,’ she said, ‘I’m having so much fun.’

‘Hey, I need to ask you a question,’ said Dan, ‘in the Hall of Truth or Dare I was given a “your heart is a box” scenario and a question.’

‘Wow, amazing, I was given the same question,’ said Bridget, ‘how bizarre...he told me it was a rare question to get.’

‘What was your answer?’ Dan was almost pleading for a reply.

‘I told him that I’d give the person I loved…’

‘Stop…stop,’ interrupted Dan, ‘I think I get it now…you’d give the person half ownership in the box.’

‘Close, I said I’d give him shared ownership in the box,’ Bridget pointed out.

‘I started rambling about giving things from inside the box like love, respect, loyalty, friendship, passion,’ said Dan, ‘I never thought of just sharing the box…my heart…instead I gave him a totally boring reply.’

‘No, your reply was sweet,’ said Bridget, ‘you're thinking out of the box on too many things in life…it’s nice that you hold some down to earth views on love.’

There were five battling DJs churning out their electronic beats. It was becoming impossible to hold a conversation. Everyone swayed and danced with the sugary R&B swagger of Curtis Mayfield melding into the ultra-modern loops of Bran Van 3000, Daft Punk and the infusion of countless other songs and musicians. Then a booming voice came over the sound system.

‘Now ladies and gentlemen, your attention please,’ said the host as the music faded to the background.

‘You must know that very often love comes in all packages…but most of the time we are unprepared because the truest of loves come in simple unadorned and modest ways…that is why your host is not clad in a leather or shinny costume…your host is unabashed and has concealed nothing about his true nature from you…as I hope true love will be rising tonight and revealing itself like the full moon for you – bearing it all.’

‘Please take off you medallions,’ requested the host, ‘now for a very special moment of our night…in a few seconds I will ask the couples with the medallions to join them together. As you know they are magnetic and will bond...for some of you worthy couples, but one of the joined medallion is very special as it will shine with a brilliant red light when the two pieces are together.’

‘If that happens…the couple with the glowing medallion will win a one week vacation to Paris, France at the Pavillon De La Reine…we have planned to pamper you with an outdoor lunch in Place des Vosges and let you pick your nightlife entertainment each night paid for by Pandaria.’

‘And now I will count down from five to one…on the count of one please join your medallions…Five, Four, Three, Two, One.’

All the couples began pairing up their medallions. Bridget and Dan were caught up in looking around the room at all the activity.

‘Hey, you two,’ said a hostess, ‘come on…put your medallions together.’

Dan and Bridget fitted the two pieces together. The magnet drew them together and bonded them tight. Nothing more happened. They laughed. Dan took the leather strap off his half of the medallion and put the melded medallion around Bridget’s neck.

Almost fifteen seconds went by as the crowd was frantically looking around the room for the glowing medallion. Bridget saw everyone's eyes fall on her and noticed her medallion was glowing bright red.

‘Wow, Bridget,’ Dan said excitedly, ‘our medallion is the one.’

‘We have our prize couple,’ announced the Master of Ceremonies, ‘would you please come up on stage.’

Dan and Bridget quickly made their way to the stage. The MC asked their names and paraded them around to the crowd.

‘Are you married,’ asked the MC.

‘No…we’re friends,’ said Dan.

‘Special friends,’ asked the MC.

‘Just friends,’ replied Dan.

‘And what does Bridget have to say about that,’ asked the MC.

‘Yes, we’re just friends,’ replied Bridget.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is a beautiful thing,’ announced the MC, ‘the best find on Valentine’s Day is a man and woman who don’t know yet that they love each other…as these two do.’

Bridget and Dan laughed, and were clearly amused and not taking the MC seriously.

‘They doubt me,’ announced the MC, ‘but, you see here at Club Pandaria we understand and work with magic…and love is the strongest magic in the Universe…so as the grand Master of Ceremonies and magician for tonight let me point this couple…Dan and Bridget in the right direction.’

‘Dan, would you kindly take out and read the letter you took from the Tunnel of Love Letters,’ requested the host.

Dan read the letter out to the audience.

Bridget stood beside him and was turning beat red.

After Dan finished Bridget said, ‘I don’t believe it…I wrote that letter.’

‘And now Bridget will you read the letter you took from the Tunnel of Love Letters,’ asked the host.

Bridget read to the crowd:

"I'll be your freeway, if you'll be my home…I'll teach you how to leave if you teach me how to stay," is a line from a song that captures the essence of two types of people...one person who is planted in a place, steadfastly building a relationship with family, friends, and loved ones…planting seeds to reap at a later point in life...the other person travels the highways, sees every corner of the Earth, seeks new challenges and adventures in faraway places, makes friends and loving connections that last temporarily and then moves on to another chapter in life…never cultivating the fruits of their efforts.

I have been the traveller…wired to seek joys and thrills over solitude and reflection… I am the one who rushes in with all guns blazing… I am the one who refuses to cry when leaving… …I am the one who is playing in the here and now…I am the one who banks on today and scoffs at tomorrow.

I have an equally passionate opposite side to my nature which only a short while ago began to speak to me. Most people have never seen this other side of me because it is like the dark side of the moon…invisible to the eye and difficult to reach. For the longest time the flip side of my nature was beyond even my comprehension. Now, I intend to fully harness this side of my nature. Hopefully, between my two extreme sides I can find balance and a more harmonious life. I have learnt that the greatest feat in life is finding fulfillment. I see now that fulfillment is much more rewarding if it is sustainable and long term.

I want to fall in love slowly…as myself and my partner fall in sync on the mysteries and miracles of life. Everyone should constantly be training their hearts and minds to be loving, conscientious and compassionate. We can coach each other – we can be each other’s champions. I accept the union of two hearts sharing in the work at hand as we face both glorious moments and hardships together with love, mutual determination, respect and above all faith in each other. 

P.S., we should plan on having two kids?

‘Bridget...that’s my letter,’ blurted out Dan.